Which is why I keep this card from Chick-fil-A on my desk where I can always see it:

“Your Opinion Matters!” 

I could have cashed it in for a chicken sandwich long ago but would I have felt my opinion mattered every week after staff meeting when it might have seemed it didn’t? Nope. And I wouldn’t trade that thing for 10 sandwiches now because every time I feel like my opinion doesn’t matter I can look at that card and know that it does matter to someone. Thanks Chick-fil-A!

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

Midas Car Care Center at 5951 Brainerd Road is your complete car care destination. Oil changes to brakes, tires to alignments… they do it all! See if Todd is there and then ask for TJ.

Just kidding! Todd is awesome and he’ll take care of you and your vehicle and give you a free cup of the best coffee in town. Tell him Kevin sent you and told you he’d give you “the discount”. (It only works if you do the air quotes.)

423-894-3114

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I asked her to text me to see what would happen. I thought maybe it would reset my clock. She sent a text that said “Hi”.

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It didn’t reset it.

But we had fun with it. I said, “Who is this?”

And Ashley quickly texted back, “The future.”

One of my favorite things about my wife is how funny she is. In the past. The present. And in the future.

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

Midas Car Care Center at 5951 Brainerd Road is your complete car care destination. Oil changes to brakes, tires to alignments… they do it all! See if Todd is there and then ask for TJ.

Just kidding! Todd is awesome and he’ll take care of you and your vehicle and give you a free cup of the best coffee in town. Tell him Kevin sent you and told you he’d give you “the discount”. (It only works if you do the air quotes.)

423-894-3114

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Click to Enlarge

As soon as I saw him sitting in this, I knew he wasn’t just sitting in a “Bumbo,” I knew he was sitting in a machine. Some kind of vehicle. Some kind of space flying machine vehicle. I knew that because of the sounds he was making. He was making space flying machine vehicle sounds.

So we started playing imaginary space flying machine vehicle games. It was awesome! The Bumbo had an imaginary steering wheel that Kit could hold onto and steer out of the way of the oncoming space traffic.

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Which is good because there were rockets flying at us from all directions we had to dodge!

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And not just from the side they were flying right at us too!!!

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It was crazy!

And then Ashley walked in from the living room and I thought our imaginary space flying machine vehicle game time was over. But all she said was, “If you are going to play dangerous imaginary games with my baby, at least imagine that he is wearing a helmet.

“”Done,” I said.

Click to Enlarge

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

If you like donuts and let’s face it, you do, then you should go eat donuts at Julie Darling Donuts immediately. They. Are. Delicious. Very, very delicious. A lot.

Tomorrow is Friday which means it is Donuts for Lunch Day, and what better place for Donuts for Lunch Day than Julie Darling Donuts!

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Kit, on the other hand, wasn’t as appreciative of Ashley today. He was fussy and didn’t necessarily want to be put down for his nap. When he finally fell asleep he managed to slip one finger out of his closed-sleeved shirt. I’ll let you guess which one…

Yup… that’s the one we guessed, too.

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

If you like donuts and let’s face it, you do, then you should go eat donuts at Julie Darling Donuts immediately. They. Are. Delicious. Very, very delicious. A lot.

Need to spice up your life? Today’s flavor is SPICE CAKE- it will put a little umph in your swagger!

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I don’t know who she is, or what Ulcerative Colitis is, but she seems really happy with it, so I think I am going to ask my doctor how I can get it.

I just love how the pharmaceutical companies make their tv ads and print ads make the diseases seem so much fun that you almost want the disease just so you can get their medicines to treat it. My favorite was always the herpes virus commercial on tv. They were better than the Match.com commercials. People would say, “I’m tired of being single, I’m going to join Match.com.” and I would think, If you are really tired of being single and want to meet that special someone you can go kayaking with and ride a double-seated bicycle into the sunset with, I don’t think you should join Match.com, I think you should get herpes.

But I have always been one who is easily swayed by the media. I do own The Clapper, The Ove Glove, and every NOW That’s What I Call Music! cd. Speaking of..

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

If you like donuts and let’s face it, you do, then you should go eat donuts at Julie Darling Donuts immediately. They. Are. Delicious. Very, very delicious. A lot.

Seriously, stop what you are doing and go now. Really, go. If you are at work get one for your boss and you will be forgiven. If this doesn’t work then have your boss call Julie at (423) 591-3737.

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Yikes.

That is a not-so-perfect gift. Although it does come in a “Limited Edition Gift Box!”

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

Target usually hits the mark, but not Always.

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I thought I did too buuuuttt, I didn’t. So we are going to turn this into a game for you. It’s called:

Meat Loaf’s Can You Guess That Meat???

The game show where we give you two of the meats, and you have to guess the third. I know what you are thinking… two out of three ain’t bad… well, so are we, so let’s play!

Here’s a picture of the box with the third meat blurred out, see if you can guess what it is:

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Okay, let’s make this multiple choice. Is the third meat in the Triple Meat Pizza…

A. Hamburger

B. Goose

C. Rabbit

D. Elephant

E. Duckbilled Platypus

I know what you are thinking, Those are some ridiculous choices. Well, I promise you that the answer is ridiculous. If you can guess which meat is the third meat in the Triple Meat Pizza I will personally give you Meatloaf. Not the Meat Loaf, just a Meat Loaf.

Go ahead and guess. I’ll give you some time to think about it and when you are ready to see what the answer is, just scroll on down.

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The good news is that I don’t have to give you a meat loaf because you weren’t right with your answer. The bad news is that none of those answers are right because all of those answers are meat. Yup, did you see what the third meat is… 

“Pizza Topping with Pepperoni Flavor”

What???? That’s not even sort of a meat! I feel like I have been jipped all these years I have been getting the “Triple Meat Pizza”! It’s not called the “Triple Meat Flavor Pizza”, it’s called “Triple MEAT Pizza”! Come on, Totinos! Oh well, it is still delicious so I guess I shouldn’t complain. And at least Ashley’s Triple Cheese Pizza is made with three cheeses, right!

Wait, what?

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

 Truth in Advertising

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People keep wanting to see pictures of Kit and I can understand because he is the cutest baby in the history of the world. He is smart and funny and he has all of his hair. If you came here today hoping to see a picture of him, you’re in luck!

Enjoy!

To help Kit relax after a long gassy afternoon, Ashley gave him a bath and then she gave him a back rub with Johnson and Johnson lavendar lotion.

During which he calmly read “Horton Hears a Who” on his Nook.

Seeeee! Cutest. Baby. Ever.

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

Pictures of babies are awesome and Liz Power Photography is awesome so it only makes sense that baby pictures taken by Liz Power Photography would we really awesome.

Ashley and I took Kit to get his pictures taken a few weeks ago and it was, as advertised, awesome. (Just wait till you get your Christmas cards!) If you want to get your baby’s picture taken or your child’s or your grandma’s call Liz Power. They also do weddings and engagements and family pictures and old timey gatlinburg pictures. Okay, I made that last one up, but they do the rest, check ‘em out at LizPowerPhotography.com.

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My favorite class at Ridgedale’s CDC (Childcare Development Center) is The Lions. They are the 4 year old class down by the gym. They are  so funny. Last night was the CDC’s Fall Program where all the classes sing a few songs and dance around and have a good time and show off for their parents. I usually go to all their programs but last night I had class and wasn’t going to be able to go sooo…

They were nice enough to do their whole program for me while they were standing in line to go out and play.

It started with us just talking about it and then they started singing their first song, which led to them singing their second song, which led to them singing their third song. It was awesome! They were doing all their motions and singing super loud.

They are the funniest, which is why they are my favorite. Today I want to share with you some of their funniest in my latest segment called:

If Lions Were…

They were each asked to complete the sentence: “If I Were a Scarecrow…” which of course led to…

If Lions Were… Scarecrows

Before we get started I need to say that the kids in The Lions are just 4 years old and I didn’t get them to sign a release to be on here so instead of showing their faces, I have “expertly” photoshopped the faces of the Duggar kids over their faces.

Which Duggars? Well, that will be a bonus part of the fun. If you want to play “Name That Duggar” click on the picture below. The KevinTheCoolGuy.com record is held by The Reynolds Family with 1800 points.

(Of course them living 17 minutes from the Duggars probably helps.)

See if you can beat their record!

All right, let’s do this…

If Lions Were… Scarecrows

If I were a Scarecrow…

Sarah says:

“I would marry somebody.”

Well, of course you would!

If I were a Scarecrow…

Tristan says:

“I would drive a motorcycle.”

In his free time, I’m assuming.

If I were a Scarecrow…

Meagan  says:

“I would sit down in a chair.”

I’ll do it, but I’m not gonna stand up all day!

If I were a Scarecrow…

Ms Loretta says:

“I would go over and hug Willie’s neck and sit next to him.”

I’m not sure who “Willie” is but he has a hug coming his way!

If I were a Scarecrow…

Keaton says:

“I would scare away the crows if they eat the corn.”

If they eat the corn. If not, they can stay.

If I were a Scarecrow…

Kyle says:

“I would eat the corn.”

I appreciate your honesty Kyle but I think we will pass on you at this time.

If I were a Scarecrow…

Chasity says:

“I would scare everybody.”

EVERYBODY.

Nice hair, by the way.

If I were a Scarecrow…

Benjamin says:

“I would go to bed.”

In his defense at his house “being a scarecrow” is slang for sleepy.

If I were a Scarecrow…

Madelyne says:

“I would take some corn to my Granddaddy.”

Earlier in the year when asked to complete the sentence “If I were a Secretary…” she said, “I would take some paperclips to my Granddaddy.”

I’m starting to see a pattern here Madelyne…

If I were a Scarecrow…

Madeline says:

“I would fly.”

I like it Madeline. If the crows don’t come to you, you will come to them. Nice.

If I were a Scarecrow…

Savannah says:

“I would scare away the horses and the birds away.”

The birds AND the horses. Above and beyond, Savannah, above and beyond.

Okay, so far so good, now let’s take a look at the minister’s kids. Hannah is John’s (Rec Minister) daughter and Tripp is Brother Bill’s (Senior Pastor) grandson, I’m sure they will say something really good and probably spiritual.

Let’s see!

If I were a Scarecrow…

Hannah says:

“I would scare crows.”

Hmm, alright. I mean she is a scarecrow so technically she is doing her job.

“If I were a scarecrow I would do my job.”

Commendable Hannah.

Now let’s see about Tripp.

If I were a Scarecrow…

Tripp says:

“I am not a scarecrow. I am not going to be a scarecrow.”

When asked the follow up question: Yeah, but what if you were…

Tripp said, “I am not, I will not be, I am not a scarecrow, I am a boy, not a scarecrow, I am not going to be a scarecrow at all. Never.”

Today’s Photo Brought To You By: 

The Duggar Family Baby Name Generator…

When you can’t stop having babies and they just have to have J names! 

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Are you tired of all your coworkers spending their time watching the NCAA Basketball Tournament? Do you feel jipped because they spent 99% of their Thursday and Friday checking scores on their iPhones and sneaking off to the break room to watch March Madness on CBS?

Well, today is Monday and there are no games so those guys should be busy catching up on all the work they fell behind on at the end of next week. You are way ahead of them as far as workload completed, and you didn’t even watch one game and yet your office pool bracket is looking just as good as theirs. You deserve a reward. You deserve a little wasted time of your own.

Well, we here at KevinTheCoolGuy.com feel your pain and we want to reward you. So take a moment to run to the break room and pop a bag of popcorn. Go by the coke machine and grab you a soda, regular, not diet, and sit down, crank up the speakers and enjoy a little March (Movie) Madness of your own.

Below are some videos that will hopefully keep you entertained for at least a little while:

*I am going to start you with one that can be considered “work related”… go ahead and click on it and have it open in another window in case you boss comes by and wonders what you are watching.

It is an “Intelligence For Your Life” video from John Tesh. Yeah, John Tesh. It is about “Avoiding Email Mistakes.” When your boss walks by, or when your coworkers figure out what you are doing and try to make a stink about it, you can just have this pulled up and when your boss asks what you are doing, you can say, “I am just trying to get better at emails, I know communication is a very important part of our job.”

And then offer to email it to your boss. That will show concern for him or her, plus it will most likely run them off because no one, even your boss, really wants to talk to you about doing your job better on a Monday.

(or you can click HERE to open in new tab)

Okay, well now you are set, we have a back up plan in place to fool your boss if necessary, get ready to waste the rest of the day!

Enjoy the rest of the videos!

* This one is from Ellen. She sends Dennis Quaid to Starbucks with an earpiece where she tells him what to do. It’s hilarious. Enjoy!

DENNIS QUAID IS HERE!!

*As you know, I am a huge fan of Jimmy Fallon. I have been looking forward to his show for months and now that is out I am loving it.

They have been doing Hills-esque minisodes called “7th Floor West” that I have been enjoying. I don’t watch The Hills but I can still appreciate the satire of these videos. Click on Jimmy’s Face to see them:

* My cat sleeps 23.5 hours a day. She would sleep 24 hours a day but then she would not be able to spend any time spreading her fur all over my room, which is her favorite pass time.

I tell you that to tell you this: When I went to the Humane Society to get a pet I should have gotten an elephant.

Check out this video of an elephant playing soccer. And basketball. Notice at the beginning how he even helps his owner with his cowboy hat.

*You might have heard of humans sleepwalking, but have you ever seen a dog do it?

I love this clip of Bizkit flat out running in his sleep.

If you liked that, there are plenty of videos on YouTube of dogs sleepwalking. Seriously, if you liked it, go search out more. You deserve it. You’ve earned it. I mean after all, last week when everyone else was watching basketball, YOU were WORKING.

* Moms, do you sometimes think your kids don’t like you? Well, sometimes they don’t… I like that this kid is honest about it.

I Don’t Like You All The Time…

*Bill Dance is a professional fisherman. He is also a Tennessee Vols fan.

The Vols are no longer in the tournament, so some of you guys might not be watching the tournament this weekend, some of you might rather go fishing. Before you go, check out this montage of bloopers from Bill Dance… a “professional” fisherman.

*I like road trips, and I like pranks. Combine the two and I am gonna for sure LOVE it.

*Sometimes I think I have good ideas for inventions. This guy… this guy… has spent a good 15, 20 years of his life trying to perfect a bear suit. His name is Troy Hurtubise and he is a crazy person.

There is a whole documentary about his quest that I urge you to rent from your local Blockbuster Video called Project Grizzly. Here are a few clips of him testing his suit. My favorite is when he ties a mattress to the front of a pickup truck and then stands there and lets it run into him.

You know, just in case a bear ever steals a truck with a mattress attached to the front of it and tries to run him over…

*If you can watch this without laughing I will give you 20 bucks.

(The guy in the middle has the funniest laugh in the history of the world*)

*Verified by Stanley, Farmington, Sloane, and Jenkins, LLC

*This is just a reminder…. my birthday is coming up in 3 WEEKS and I am really wanting this guy for my birthday.

Turtleman

“I try not to smile cause I got my teeth knocked out by a chainsaw…”

Turtleman is my TOP priority for my birthday present.

THIS guy, The West Virginia Ninja, is my SECOND TOP priority.

THIS guy, Jesco White, is my THIRD TOP priority.

*First rule of gun safety… wear steel toe boots.

*Okay, one last video before I wrap it up. This past week in Kid’s Worship they showed a video called “Mr Kevin’s Man vs Wild Part I”

It is our own version of Man vs Wild with Bear Grylls, but instead of an ex-British armed forces guy who is trained in the art of survival, it is me… “Mr Kevin”.

My qualifications: I once went hiking twice in one week and I also have a cool pocket knife.

I hope you enjoy this video, the first in a 3 part series that is being released posthumously. (maybe… I am trying to build up the suspense, I don’t want to give away how it ends.)

NOTE: Just like Bear Grylls, I am only taking along a few survival tools and my wits to help me survive in the mountains of East Tennessee… which I might add CONTAINS BEARS!! My camera crew is coming along to film my adventure (and hopefully get eaten by bears instead of me (it’s in the small print of their contracts…. SUCKAS!!))

Okay, well I hope you have enjoyed some of these videos and that you wasted enough time at work to satisfy. Remember you can always come back here again and watch the videos over and over or you could do your own little search on YouTube. Type in “monkey’s doing cartwheels” and see what pops up, it could be he most hilarious video of all time.

If one doesn’t exist, maybe you could spend part of your work day tomorrow making one…

Have a great afternoon, maybe take off a little early! Okay, see ya!

Today’s Photo Brought To You By: 

Wasting Time At Work

Let’s be honest: most of us go to work because we have to, not because we want to, right? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, our bosses don’t want to be there either. They are in their offices doing the same thing you are: Wasting time at work.

As time allows today, spend a little time wasting time at work. Need some ideas? Click on the icon below and read Justin’s 11 Ways To Kill Time At Work. 

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