Tonight Ashley and I went over to Hope and Chad’s house after Shepherd went to bed. We were loud so he woke up. Since he was up we thought we may as well play with him. And then somehow he started dancing on the table.

He danced forever, it was hilarious. And then out of nowhere he leaned down and put his ear on the table.

And I know he is only 19 months old and can’t really verbalize it very well, but I’m pretty sure he was saying, “WOOOO-WOOOOO!!! there’s a train coming through, can you HEAR IT?!?!?!?!”

And feeling we had gotten Shepherd sufficiently riled up, Ashley and I went home.

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It is almost Christmas time so our church is filling up shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child again. We are asking everyone to grab a box and fill it with toys and school supplies and books and all kinds of good stuff. This year we are going to try to fill at least 600 boxes.

Here is one of those boxes:

I should clarify that this box is from Christmas Card Guy; he brought it to me today.

Which might not have needed to be clarified, but you know, I did.

Do you want to look inside?

Do you wonder, if a Dr Pepper is taped to the outside, what could possibly be inside?

Do you want to look inside??

Okay, let’s look inside…

There was a LOT of stuff. There was a shirt, and also gloves with a matching hat.  There were some stickers and this time there are not any missing (like on the Iron Man stickers he gave me). Some were rainbows and some were turkeys, and then some were horses and Native Americans, which confused me. He gave me a Christmas card before Halloween, and for Christmas, he is giving a poor child in Africa some Thanksgiving stickers.

Also there was baby powder shampoo and a chapstick that may or may not have been found and not purchased. There was orange jello and shaving cream. There was a toy car, a bar of soap, and Colgate toothpaste. There were 6 pieces of random candy, one of which was that weird strawberry candy.

There was a card that made reference to Extreme Home Makeover with three incomplete sentences scattered about within it. There were 3 articles that talked about him and his massive record collection and a picture of an apartment complex sign. Not the one he lives in, but a random one across town.

And also…

…and these were my favorite items…

4 disposable razors and a package of firecrackers.

Aaaand that’s why people in foreign countries think Americans are crazy.

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Ashley went to our second wedding shower today and just as she did last week, instead of telling me what all we got, she let me open all the gifts for myself when we got to my house.

This week she introduced me to the Shower Seat of Honor. It made me think of the shower seat old people use to sit on when they take a shower, it made me a little uncomfortable. But apparently when you are the Showeree, you get to sit in a special chair, a “Shower Seat of Honor”.

I chose to sit in my grand-me-down recliner. And Ashley was right, it DID make opening up the gifts that much more fun!

I still can’t believe that people are buying us stuff and it’s not our birthday or Christmas, it’s CRAZY! This week, just like last week, we got sooo much cool stuff! Utensils and bowls and plates and pink sheets! (Who knew that one day I would be sleeping on pink sheets…) My favorite was the bag full of white towels! I know that might seem boring to you, but I was excited.

Shhhh… Secret Hint: I’m hoping for the grapefruit spoons next shower…

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Today we had our Pumpkin Patch after church. It is the day after Halloween, I know, but it wasn’t just a “Halloween/Fall Festival” we also had a “Family Expo”.  We had a sign and everything. I helped hang it.

David was worried it was going to tip over, so he wanted me to weight it down. So on one side I put a rock.

I could only find one big rock like that close so on the other side…

I used painter’s tape.

Ironically there were at least 7 safety-focused booths at the Expo, though none of which, obviously, was OSHA.

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Tonight Ashley and I took Monet (our flower girl) to Trunk or Treat at East Ridge Baptist.

Monet is dressed up as a mermaid spider. She had a mermaid dress and a spider hat. Mermaid Spider.

She has also recently learned to cross her eyes…

I told her when she did that she looked like Mermaid Spider Columbo. I told her she should have boiled eggs in her pockets. She did not get either of these references.

Later she insisted I put on her spider hat. Ashley’s mom really liked it.

Or so I thought.

I was surprised to find out that she didn’t.

Luckily Monet had gotten me plenty of candy so I could eat my feelings when I got home.

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Tonight Ashley and I decided to carve pumpkins. Of course we made it a contest. It was official with rules and a time limit and everything. I said I was going to win, and Ashley said she was going to win.

But there could be only one winner.

And like I said, it was going to be me.

To be fair, we started with the exact same set up.

Ashley went into the living room to get a pencil and I carved my pumpkin into a cat.

It looked just like Princess Prissy McPurrsalot of Lichtenstein!

Just kidding, that’s my cat (I call her “Lucy” for short). She is not a pumpkin, although I did try to pass her off as my pumpkin, but she kept licking her butt and messing it up for me.

After Ashley called me out on the “Pumpkin Scandal” as she tried to call it, we painstakingly carved our pumpkins and were ready for the reveal.

I carved a “Toothless Vampire with a Moustache”. Ashley carved “Mr. Owl”.

I had to make my vampire toothless at the last minute when I couldn’t find any wooden skewers to be his teeth.

In case Ashley wasn’t impressed with my “Toothless Vampire with a Moustache” I carved a bowling ball on the back.

After careful consideration Ashley said, “I think it should probably be a tie.”

I said, “I agree, it should be a tie, but yours is good too, and 3rd place is not bad. You get a bronze medal.”

Official Results:

Gold Medal: Toothless Vampire with a Moustache

Silver Medal: Bowling Ball

Bronze: Mr. Owl

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Today was the Halloween Parade for the kids of the CDC at church. I wasn’t there for that, but I came in as John and Emily and their girls were leaving. They were dressed in cute little costumes, and I wasn’t.

So John gave me the church newsletter and asked me to pull an Adam Sandler and be “Mr. Crazy Newsletter Face Man” and give his girls candy.

All I had was a Werthers Original so I gave it to her. Also I gave her my business card because she sounded confused as to who I was.

NOTE to John: If the girls don’t want the Werthers Original, please bring them back to me, they are my favorite.

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Today’s Candy Bar Thursday! Candy Bar was a Cadbury Dairy Milk bar from England.

Ashley’s mom and sister went to The English Rose Tea Room on the Southside and got it for us. The difference in the Cadbury Dairy Milk made in America, and the one made in England is wax. Apparently in America we fill our candy bars with wax, and in England it is against the law.

After tasting the Cadbury Dairy Milk Bar from England I have decided that When I Am President, wax will no longer be allowed in candy bars in America. It will be my second act in office, after I extend weeks to 8 days and make every weekend a 3 day weekend.

Anyway, this candy bar and all its goodness has inspired me to speak with an English accent for the last 4 hours (which Ashley is not loving), and it is also reminding me of that Saturday a couple of months ago that Ashley and her mom tricked me and her dad into going to breakfast at the English Rose.

At first we were not too excited.

But I decided to stop and smell the roses and really enjoy it. Turns out “scones” are just biscuits served with round butter. They are really good and almost worth the three dollars they charge you for them.

Before we left I decided to grab a souvenir for my sister.

Maybe I’ll also send her a candy bar.

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DOUBLE-SHOT!

Just for the heck of it, I thought I would throw you a couple of extra Photos of the Day. Mainly because I had coffee and can’t go to bed.

Enjoy!

If you have to get stuck in traffic behind someone…

…it may as well be this guy.

And this one is for Ashley and Mrs Papillion.

Finally… truth in advertising.

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I love TV, it is probably my favorite medium. It is on all the time and has almost anything you could possibly want, it is very diverse, which I appreciate, but as I was watching Parks and Recreation tonight I realized it has gotten a little too diverse.

Watching the credits, I was thinking, “Nope, we don’t need THAT.”

And by THAT, I mean this:

A Nazi Indian Chief

HOW!

No, not “How”… I mean HOW??? HOW did this happen???

This just seems inappropriate, and I am not saying that just because I am a 16th Native American, or because I am an 8th German, but moreso because I am quarter British which has given me a propensity to wear v-necks and be judgmental.

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