“There’s No God Like Jehovah”

*Trying to pick out what to wear to the laundry mat is really hard because you want to wash all your dirty clothes and you know that whatever you wear there will be dirty for at least two weeks.

There’s no joke there I just want you to know that my life isn’t all fun and games; it’s hard sometimes, too. And also if you see me wearing my D.A.R.E. t-shirt any time in the next two weeks it’s probably dirty.

*I was watching a documentary on The Sundance Channel today about oil called A Crude Awakening: Oil Crash, and they, the oilmen, I mean, were talking about oil and how great it is, and how great they are for bringing it to us, and they made a point of saying that we are nowhere near running out of it, and they went on to say how oil was formed over millions and millions of years but particularly 150 million years ago and 90 million years ago when there were instances of extreme global warming.

“Interesting,” is what I say, while others might say, “So take that global warming fearing tree-hugging environmentalist, burning all this oil, which is causing a lot of the global warming, which makes us use more oil, which will eventually make us run out of oil is what is going to give us more oil. It’s the circle of life, surely all you tree-hugging crybaby turtle-lovers should be able to understand and support that!”

*I’m still having trouble paying my rent so I called Homeland Security and gave them an anonymous tip that my landlords are terrorists. Now when they call and ask me about paying the rent I can say, “Sorry, I don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

Next on the list: Citibank.

*The past few weeks the sermons at my church have been about heaven and today Patrick and I had this conversation.

Patrick: Will there be internet access in heaven?

Me: Yeah, definitely… high-speed. Heaven is going to be Comcastic.

*The name of today’s sermon was “Will We Know One Another in Heaven?” and as our pastor was opening he said, “Today I will answer questions you have been asking like: Will we recognize one another in heaven? What will our relationships be like? Will we know our relatives in heaven? Will there be marriage in heaven? How old will our bodies be in heaven? and Will we have sex in heaven?”

I have only one question: Uhh, yeah, so did you want this sermon to be the “Will We Have Sex in Heaven” sermon because, yeah, uhh, it is now.

*Today, at church, we also sang one of my favorite songs, “Days of Elijah”. It’s one of my favorites because, well, just look at the lyrics:

These are the days of Elijah
Declaring the Word of the Lord, yes
And these are the days of his servant, Moses
Righteousness being restored
And these are the days of great trial
Of famine and darkness and sword
So we are the voice in the desert crying
Prepare ye the way of the Lord
 
CHORUS:
Behold he comes 
Riding on a cloud
Shining like the sun
At the trumpet's call
Lift your voice
It's the year of jubilee
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes
 
And these are the days of Ezekiel
With dry bones becoming as flesh
And these are the days of his servant, David
Building the temple of praise, yes
And these are the days of the harvest
The fields are all white in the world
And we are the laborers that are in your vineyard
declaring the word of the Lord 
 
CHORUS 2X
Behold he comes 
Riding on a cloud
Shining like the sun
At the trumpet's call
Lift your voice
It's the year of jubilee
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes
 
There's no God like Jehovah (x8--modulate)
There's no God like Jehovah (x8--modulate)
There's no God like Jehovah (x7)
 

CHORUS X2

The reason I love it so much is because, at first, it is just a normal praise and worship song, but notice the end… right before we sing the chorus two more times we sing “There’s no God like Jehovah” 23 times. 23.

Here’s how I imagine that happened.

Music Minister: Wow, I like this song… but it needs to be a little longer, maybe another verse or something.

Songwriter: Yeah, I agree, how about “There’s no God like Jehovah”?

Music Minister: I like it; do you have anything else to go with it?

Songwriter: Yeah, 22 more “There’s no God like Jehovah”‘s.

Music Minister: Perfect!

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One Response to ““There’s No God Like Jehovah””

  1. Molly Turner Says:

    I want to read this site all day long.

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