Michael Phelps: In 4 Months

As you all know I am a HUUUUUGGGGEEE Olympics fan. I watched it all day, EVERYDAY for almost 3 weeks straight. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, if Best Fan were an Olympic event I’d win gold medal for sure. But sadly it is not so all I have to show for my long hours are bags under my eyes and a month’s worth of poor work performance.

Anyway, the Olympics are over and they were a huge success. Michael Phelps, who is my favorite Olympic athlete from Athens, lived up to the hype and won an amazing 8 gold medals. Not only has no one ever won more in one Olympic Games -EIGHT- but he also now has 14 gold medals overall, more than anyone else in history! He also holds 7 world records and eats like a horse. Like 7 horses.

Maybe you saw this Story on Good Morning, America about “The Phelps Diet”

He eats. A lot. But he burns it all off because he swims to France every day so I saw the story and, like you, thought, Dang, he eats a LOT of food, and then went back to watching the Olympics.

And then I saw him in an interview talking about how after he leaves Beijing he is not going to get in the pool for at least 4 months. He’s gonna take it easy, relax and just enjoy himself. He’s not gonna swim laps, he’s not gonna run, he’s not gonna lift weights, he’s just gonna sit around his house and relax.

Which is cool and all well and good but this is what he eats:

Author's approximation via the Denny's menu

Author's Approximation via the Denny's menu

and that’s just for breakfast!

For lunch he eats a pasta feast

Author's redition (via istockphotos)

Author's Approximation via iStockphoto

And then there’s dinner, which is a lot of food too. (just imagine it, I can’t be Googling all day!)

The point is that’s a lot of food, a lot of food that he burns off… now. But if he just sits around doing nothing all day then he is not gonna look like this very much longer:

He is gonna look more like this…

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wait for it…

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wait for it…

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Michael Phelps: In 4 Months

Author's Approximation via his psychic visions

SEE!!! YIKES!!!!!

This is what is going to happen to him! He is going to be at his house relaxing and eating. And eating. And eating. He is going to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas all the while NOT SWIMMING. He is gonna get fatter. And fatter and fatter and fatter.

Notice his body hair. Since he is not swimming anymore he no longer has a need to shave his entire body which leads to, uhh… hairiness. Lots and lots of hairy.

He has refashioned all those gold medals into a giant gold cross and chain that he wears everyday. And his Speedos. He is still sponsored by Speedo.

And the moustache… well, I can’t explain the moustache.

Now, this is not a science but I am pretty sure my Author’s Approximation is close. I would love to see your Reader’s Approximation of what you think Michael Phelps will look like in 4 months. Then we can all check back with each other in 4 months time and compare.

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4 Responses to “Michael Phelps: In 4 Months”

  1. Patrick Says:

    So really what you’re saying is that he’s going to look like Joel Reynolds?

  2. Joel Reynolds Says:

    HEY..HEY…HEY…those are fighting words! i will see you at Patmania 2!!!

  3. Patrick Says:

    I look forward to sending you to another state.

  4. Photo of the Day- 02february2009 « KevinTheCoolGuy.com Says:

    […] mean, do you remember the Michael Phelps […]

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