Photo of the Day- 19january2009

2 Cups.

I’ve read you are only really supposed to drink 1-2 cups of coffee a day. Actually, I have heard that two cups of coffee a day makes you smarter. And perhaps a little jitterier. (That’s a word I made up with my two cups of coffee a day smartness)

Today I wanted to be smart so I had two cups. Just two cups.

Granted they were “grande” but still, that doesn’t seem too bad until you put it in context…

give it a little size proportion…

such as I have done with this chart…

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my-cup-of-coffee-in-comparison-with

I know, I know, what you are thinking, “HOW did you do this chart? You are so smart! This must have taken a lot of time and energy.”

Well, thank you, I AM smart, huh? And luckily I was off today… and with the two cups of coffee I had LOTS of energy. Probably too much.

Definitely too much. I felt like I had ingested 9 pounds of crank. Or 12 kilos. Or 137 ounces. Or whatever unit you use to measure crank. A lot, I felt like I had ingested LOTS of crank. If I am being honest I still feel a little bit “cranky”.

And the weird thing is that I didn’t really get that much done. I read and worked on a sermon, I did a couple of paintings, I am almost caught up on er, and I went to Wal*Mart.

I needed a new watch because mysteriously last week my watch started being 4 hours and 27 minutes ahead of time. It did, it really did. And no matter which buttons I pushed I couldn’t figure out how to reset it. I was tired of having to do algebra every time I wanted to know what time it was so I went to Wal*Mart to buy a new one.

I was walking around trying to not look cracked out, which on two cups of “grande” coffee is not as easy as you might think. I found the watch section, which was in the jewelry section because watches are considered “jewelry” instead of “miniature wearable clocks” and therefore not in the clock section, which, coffee or no coffee, seems completely ridiculous to me.

Anyway, I always buy a watch from the $6 shelf, although it seems with inflation it has become the $9 shelf. I was looking through the watches and I noticed they had different water ratings. Used to watches were either “waterproof” or they weren’t. Some were rated “Waterproof up to 100 Feet” or something, but either they were waterproof or they weren’t, now they have different in between ratings, with picture codes.

For example, the watches are now rated “shower” with a picture of a shower head sprinkling down to indicate they are waterproof enough for you to take a shower in it, and a “hand washing” rating with two hands wringing together as they wash to indicate they are waterproof enough to withstand you washing your hands.

Oddly enough the hands shown were NOT wearing a watch which does little to build confidence in the product you are about to buy. Perhaps their marketing company should drink more coffee.

UPDATE 1:

It’s 2 o’clock and I can’t go to sleep. I think that coffee is still getting to me.

I’m gonna watch Man vs Wild, if I don’t fall asleep at least I’ll know how to make snowshoes out of polar bear poop.

UPDATE 2:

2 cups. 2 cups. 2 measly cups.

It is 3:30 in the morning and I am still awake. I know this because my brand new watch says so.

UPDATE 3:

It’s 4:30 in the morning. I just bought a ShamWOW! and I started my own online real estate company. It only cost $39.95 and apparently I am gonna make a quarter of a million dollars a year working part time from my home.

But still, I’d kind of rather be asleep.

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2 Responses to “Photo of the Day- 19january2009”

  1. Sarah Hooper Says:

    I feel I must point out that your “Photo of the day” is not a photo and is, in fact, a chart. That is another strike in you column. I am not sure how many strikes make an out in the game of being my online friend, but you still have some breathing room. But, don’t get lazy.

    By the way, I really want a ShamWOW! It’s Shamtastic!

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