Dear Woman I Will Marry…

I want to eventually compete in THIS competition…

It is like The Olympics but for beards. I want to one day have a giant beard that people look at and say, “He deserves a medal for that.”

Seriously, a beard like this one I used to have…




I’d give me a medal for that!!!


And that is Reason #119 Why I’ll Be Single Forever…


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One Response to “Dear Woman I Will Marry…”

  1. liza Says:

    Portland is a very bearded city. You should move here.

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