Eleven Ways To Know If The Trick or Treaters Coming To Your House Are Too Old

*If the beard of their Jack Sparrow costume is a real beard, they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If they drove themselves to your neighborhood, they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If they ask if you have any sugar-free candy because their blood sugar is spiking, they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If they are dressed as a vampire, they are too old to be trick or treating because let’s face it, little kids don’t know what vampires are. You can barely get them to eat their vegetables, there is no way you can convince them that eating someone else’s blood is going to be fun, ratherless convince them to dress up like one of those crazy people for Halloween.

*If their voice cracks while they are saying “trick or treat,” they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If their costume is prefaced with “slutty” –slutty nurse, slutty vampire, slutty elmo- they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If, instead of the classic plastic pumpkin, they are using a rolling suitcase to carry their candy, they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If they don’t bother to dress up and don’t bother to say “trick or treat” and just ring your doorbell and hold out a plastic Wal*Mart bag, they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If they are requesting certain candy from your candy bowl, for example: “Trick or Treat… Oh hey, can I have that Butterfinger?”… they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If they have to have a cane as part of their costume and they aren’t even pretending to be some kind of rapper, they are too old to be trick or treating.

*If they are dressed as a hobo, they are too old to be trick or treating. (NOTE: Unless they are an actual hobo, give them candy. You should always give a hobo candy, no matter what the day of the year because those guys have a hard life and carry everything they own in a handkerchief on the end of a stick.)

-

Today’s Photo Brought To You By:

 
SUBSCRIBE and receive email updates from KevinTheCoolGuy.com.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: