Live EVERY WEEK like it’s SHARK WEEK!

*I started a fire with my toaster and a burger bun tonight. Oester should not have width recommendations, they should have width restrictions.

*On imDb.com today there was a story titled “Moss Refuses to Stop Smoking” about supermodel Kate Moss and her refusal to quit smoking in spite of the health risks smoking is known to cause. Umm, she is a cocaine addict, a crackhead, weighs about 47 pounds, and is for sure crazy and your biggest concern is that she smokes a pack a day? Really?

*This past week our church sponsored a World Changers crew, which means we brought them lunch everyday and hung out with them when we could. Here’s a picture of the crew:

There was this one girl from Arkansas, Courtney, who had a broken elbow that she got the day before she came playing softball. She was really tough. Apparently sliding into home she slammed into the catcher and it shattered her elbow. She had a cast that we all signed.

Note how in Arkansas casts are made of Ace bandages.

*My brakes on my Jeep are bad. Real bad. They have needed to be replaced for a while. If you have ridden with me in the last two or three months and we came to a stop… well, that was just a coincidence because my brakes were padless, they were metal on metal on metal on metal.

So on Friday afternoon Justin and Bill and I changed my brakes. Here is a picture of us working:

and this is Bill helping:

and I am was also there to help:

As you can see, my brakes were REALLY worn (check out those grooves)

Here’s what the new brake rotor and pads look like:

Let’s see them side by side:

Later you’ll see that I did actually do some work:

And then Justin came behind me and fixed it.

We got finished in no time and now when I stop you don’t hear anything… which makes me nervous, I mean how do I know they are working if I don’t HEAR them working???

*SHARK WEEK is coming SOON!!! I. Cannot. Wait.

One of my favorite parts is the Shark Attack Re-enactment like in this video:

“They pulled me into the boat and, ahh, I looked down and my leg was gone…”

They film these re-enactments in the ocean. Where sharks live. That doesn’t make sense, that’s like re-enacting a house fire survival story in a house that is on fire. And what if the re-enactor actually gets attacked by a shark while filming the re-enactment? Is there a code word to let people know what is happening.

Think about it, what if they are filming and the re-enactress is doing the scene and then she is like, “AHHH!!! I’m being EATEN by a shark! AHHH! HELP!!!! AHHH!! NO, REALLY, I’M BEING EATEN BY A SHARK! AHHH!!! HELP!!! AHHH!!” Do you think the director is like, “That’s not in the script… come on, people stick to the script! Okay, let’s start from the top. Kathy… Kathy? Hey, where’s Kathy? Where did Kathy go?…”

*

I am a mechanical genius. This morning my jeep wouldn’t start. After a few Google searches I figured it was because the starter got wet last night when I washed it at the 3 dollar car wash. Soooo, I fixed it with a hammer and an oscillating fan.

Also Justin came over and jumped off my dead battery.

*We’ve started a recycling program at church, which has made us all pretty environmentally conscious. We’re all trying to reduce, reuse, and recycle. For example, I really don’t want to use styrofoam plates if I don’t have to so the other morning I made a plate out of… well, I’ll just show you:

A Post-it Note Plate. Genius, huh? And it’s so easy! You start the morning by jotting “Don’t forget to eat breakfast… it’s the most important meal of the day!” on a few post-it notes. Then a little bit later you eat your delicious breakfast of toasted cinnamon raisin bread or whatever using your post-it notes as your plate. Then when you’re done you just toss your “plate” in the recycling bin. It’s genius!

NOTE: Not recommended for cereal.

*Sometimes I think about stuff. Crazy stuff, stuff like: I wonder who invented spitting? Or Who invented blowing your nose?

Which makes me think of something else I have always wondered. What did they used to use to symbolize a good idea before Edison invented the light bulb? For example, what popped over Edison’s head when he thought of the light bulb?

And don’t say “latern”and think you have it solved… what popped above their heads when they invented the latern? Or fire? What popped over their head when they invented fire?

It’s probably all moot anyway… when did they invent cartoons?

*Every so often in the office people will bring breakfast. Something they made or leftovers from a meeting or something. I walked in the other morning and we had a spread of stuff.

Let’s take a closer look at that box on the right:

That’s communion bread. Somebody brought in the leftover bread from The Lord’s Supper. That ain’t right, just snuck it in like we wouldn’t notice. Bagels and donuts and communion bread.

It wasn’t all bad I guess, I ended up making a Communion Bread Toast Crunch cereal.